One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving. ~Paulo Coelho
I work with couples going through two different struggles. For couples who want to stay together and improve their relationship, I use an approach called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Continue reading here.
For couples where one or both partners are moving towards separation or divorce, I use an approach called Discernment Counselling. Continue reading here.
You and your partner have found yourself arguing more lately and the connection you once had just doesn’t feel the same. If you feel lonely, unsupported and like you and your partner just can’t communicate with each other no matter how hard you try, you’ve come to the right place.
When couples fight, there is usually one person who wants to talk about issues right away while the other person tends to get angry, shut down or walk away. Your partner may see you as critical and controlling, while you see them as aloof or uncaring. Even the smallest things can spark an argument and you feel at a loss as to how to get unstuck from the pattern of conflict you are both experiencing.
Common issues couples fight about include the kids, household chores, finances, and sex. You disagree about how things should be done, when to do them and who does them. It often feels like a competition about who is right, who is more tired, who is working harder, or who said what.
You avoid talking in an effort to avoid a conflict …
Things from the past keep adding fuel to the fire …
Things that didn’t bother you before are now sources of anger and resentment ..
You feel as though your partner doesn’t really get you …
When couples are in distress patterns of blaming, criticizing, defending and withdrawing are common, and this often leads to arguing, withdrawing or even a silent treatment. Ultimately, you both feel hurt, disconnected, and alone and as though you no longer have each other’s back.
When you reach out to book a couple’s session, we will start by working to understand what has brought you to the where you are now. In the first session, you, your partner and I will all meet together and you will both have time and space to share your thoughts and feelings as well as your experience in the relationship. I will also ask you about what your goals for couple’s therapy are and take time to understand your needs and what you would like your relationship to be.
You can expect to be treated with respect, compassion, empathy and understanding. When I work with a couple my focus is on supporting the relationship. This means that I will honour both of your perspectives and never take sides, blame or criticize one person. My role is to help you both bring awareness to the negative patterns that have overtaken your relationship to stop fighting and begin to improve your way of relating to each other.
For couples who want to stay together and improve their relationship, I use an approach called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
EFT may be appropriate for couples who:
Have a shared goal of staying in the relationship
Want to re-establish emotional safety in the relationship
Are willing to take responsibility for their own behaviours
Are open to the possibility of changing behaviours and creating a new way of being in the relationship
Are willing to risk being vulnerable
The goal of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is to get your relationship back on track.
In EFT, you can expect to experience the following:
A sense that you have your partner back
Feeling heard and understood by your partner
You can share your thoughts and feelings without being afraid of how your partner will react
You can work together to solve disagreements
You will understand how to approach problems that you don’t agree on
Increased trust and respect
You can expect to feel reassured that your partner has positive feelings towards you and that you now feel emotionally safe
You both want to spend time together and can enjoy each others company
You feel confident planning your future together
Improved physical and emotional intimacy
To book an EFT session, use the contact form below.
To learn more about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy click here.
For couples where one or both partners are moving towards separation or divorce, I use an approach called Discernment Counselling.
Discernment Counselling may be appropriate for couples who:
One person in the couple wants to end the relationship and the other person wants to stay together
Have experienced infidelity
Are thinking of filing for separation or divorce
Are worried that their relationship is too far gone to get back on track
Have grown emotionally distant
Are unsure if couples counselling will be helpful or if it’s even right for them at this point in their relationship
Unlike traditional couples therapy where the goal is to repair the relationship, the goal of Discernment Counselling is to decide whether the relationship can be repaired and if so, whether that is something that both partners want
To learn more about Discernment Counselling click here.
The goal of discernment counselling is to support the couple to make a decision about whether the problems in the relationship are solvable. This is achieved by gaining clarity and understanding about why things are the way they are, how each person has contributed to the problems you face today, and whether staying in the relationship is the right decision for both of you.
To book a Discernment Counselling session, click here.
When you are ready to begin, I would be happy to meet with you.
Please, fill out the contact form below to get in touch and book your first session. You may also contact me with any questions you have before beginning our work together.
