We often find ourselves caught in ”thinking traps” – especially, when we are stressed, angry or irritable. These traps make it difficult for us to see different possibilities that can help us come up with solutions other than the one(s) we have in mind based on our previous experiences. To learn how to step outside of these traps, it is important we are able to identify when we are in them. This helps us see these traps for what they are – just thinking patterns honed for years or decades that box us in and limit our capacity to see things from any other perspective. Here are six most common traps we find ourselves in:
Jumping to conclusions: we interpret things negatively when there are no facts to support our conclusion. This trap can take two forms: mind reading and fortune telling.
Mind reading is when, without checking it out, we conclude that someone is reacting negatively to us.
Fortune telling is when we predict that things will turn out badly.
Emotional reasoning:
This is a thinking pattern by which we conclude that our emotional reaction proves something is true, regardless of the observation of actual evidence – “I feel stupid, therefore I am stupid”.
Over focusing on the conclusions that may be theoretically possible but in fact are not likely.
The more time we spend focusing on a hypothetical unwanted conclusion or outcome – however unlikely – the more we feel stressed, anxious, engage in anxious actions, and suffer.
Personalization and blame:
Personalization occurs when we hold ourselves personally responsible for an event that is not entirely (or at all) under our control. It leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy.
Sometimes, we do the opposite and blame other people or our circumstances for our difficulties and problems, and we are unwilling or unable to see how we ourselves might be contributing to the situation. Blame leads to further problems because people we blame resent it and they will just fling the blame back onto us and, in addition to building resentment, nothing ever gets resolved while the animosity continues to grow.
Thinking the worst, or catastrophizing:
Usually this involves imagining or assuming the worst case scenario. This thinking trap is the tendency to overestimate not only the likelihood that something bad will happen, but also its impact. Moreover, when we think the worst, we also tend to believe that we can’t handle it. When we underestimate our ability to cope, even a little thing can become a catastrophe.
The “shoulds”:
“Shoulds” are rules and expectations that pressure us and others to act in a certain way, no matter what – they back us into a corner. Our thinking becomes inflexible. When we break a “should”, we tend to feel guilty or even ashamed about things that others are able to quickly move on from. When others don’t live up to our expectations, we tend to feel angry and resentful.
Adapted from “Mind over Mood: Change how you feel by changing the way you think.”
Recent Comments